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Not a dalliance-
Lissome scintillas blossom,
Become forest fires
This was written for :iconfuzzyhoser:'s contest a while back. Not long before the fire that took out all our firefighters in Northern Arizona, so looking at it now, it has a different context for me. A little sadder.

Fuzzy didn't love me enough to even consider it in the finals *sniffles* even though I sent it via mail. Like a baller.
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:iconsvenspade09:
The use of less yet more creative words makes this unique, instead of using simple words or phrases time was taken to find essentially a base words to convey the meaning of this poem.

Yet while good and thought out length is something to desire.

Also using it like a memorial for the fire fighter lost in Northern Arizona is a kind gesture to the families or those that knew them, though I think that you should find a credible website with the name of those lost not in just that fire but of all that year if possible and link it in this post.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconmastertalara:
You use many unique words that no one commonly uses which is giving you and advantage of originality and some technique (sadly technique is not well apllied here). Your vision seems broad to me, you have shown me the things that other can't see. The thing you are indicating is so simple in the shadow of uncommon words which only dictionary can solve. I think you are trying to describe a cluster of flowers which a graceful minute of happiness then fading away, also mentioning not wasting time (Am i right?). You have strong impact of wordplay on the observers, you are trying to teach us that a moment of something which can be easily fading away and that moment of something is not a waste of time.
Final Verdict: 8.5/10
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconbritish-prophetess:
British-Prophetess Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! I've chosen you as the 69th person for my 200 Comments Project Challenge. Basically I'm giving comments to 200 different people in a time frame within a week :D (Big Grin)

Very touching and quite emotional at the same time,and the use of the word choices makes it all the more meaningful. I think I can remember the fires in Arizona - that was such an unfortunate tragedy :( Still this is a fitting tribute overall.
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:rose: thank you for taking the time to leave this comment. Your feedback is wonderful.
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:iconbritish-prophetess:
British-Prophetess Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure :D
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:iconsynconi:
synconi Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013   Artisan Crafter
Liking the elemental themes, with earth linked to fire...this poem sounds wonderful, all those liquid "l"s that roll of your tongue coupled with the whispery "s" sounds. Makes me want to read it all slow and melancholic :heart:
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: thank you!
Reply
:iconsynconi:
synconi Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013   Artisan Crafter
You're welcome :)
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:iconhypermagical:
hypermagical Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013
This made me happy. :XD:
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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:icontuishimi:
Tuishimi Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
Very pretty wording.  I had to look up Lissome ... alternate form of lithesome...  :)
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
(I had to look it up when she gave us the words, too, and went with the spelling she'd given us... ;))
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Like a baller," indeed. :lmao: This is absolutely fantastic. :clap:
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: That's how we do! (and other comments that make me glow more in the dark with my whiteness HA HA)
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: YEAH! :dummy: (Oh my gosh. :rofl:)
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:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Like a baller." I love you.

On a more serious note, I have friends that live in Prescott. The town is still heavy with heartbreak. :(
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
God, man, I've burst into tears a few times over the last month when it pops into my head.
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:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:(

Now there is a firefighter lost in the mountains here.

Who has a pregnant wife at home.

:(
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really hope they find Token alive.
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:iconscatteredwords:
scatteredwords Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Me too
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:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Psshhhh, this is gorgeous.
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:rose: thanks!
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:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're so welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconbraxton-t-rutledge:
Braxton-T-Rutledge Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
This was mine -

Scintilla! I spy a mellifluous lissome blossom
in the bathroom the ritual embrocation,
I dream of a dalliance with something other
than my hand.

I just commented on her journal.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: you did more than even me
Reply
:iconbraxton-t-rutledge:
Braxton-T-Rutledge Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013
maybe.
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:thumbsup:
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
Tender little thing.
Fuzzy sounds soft but she isn't. :O
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Truth.
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013
or dare.
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I dare you to go see a big band swing concert. :B
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hehehehee.... I think you should write a poem about the horrors you encounter.
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:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013
I only write soppy poetry as a rule.
You know that.
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't believe in rules.
You know that.
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(1 Reply)
:iconedge-of-psychosis:
edge-of-psychosis Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So I had to look up both "lissome" and "scintilla" in the dictionary, and now that I know what they mean, I LOVE this.:heart:
[and by dictionary of course I mean typing "define lissome" into the google search bar]
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
HUZZAH TO THE GOOGLEMIESTER! :heart:
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013   Writer
Wait! I thought you got second place?!
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Per Fuzzy:

It was a hardhardhard decision, though. I had help from `vespera in debating the overall wonderful-ness of all the poems. She actually even submitted, but I disqualified her for cheap effort. She basically wrote all the words down on a postcard and mailed it.
Roll Eyes


HA HA HA. I'm cheap.
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
i always knew you were cheap
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:shakefist: my secret is out!
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013
secret??????????
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's what I'm sayin'.
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013   Writer
I guess I missed that somehow. ;) I had my nose out of joint because I thought you got extra credit. Cheap? Does she know how much a stamp costs these days??!!
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I've very aware. She is a tease, though. She tempts me with cookies SO OFTEN and then just sends postcards. I specifically told her to send me cookies for the contest.


....er. I mean...nevermind.
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013   Writer
Cookies?? <PERK>
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
See? The idea alone....temptation at its most epic level.
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Apparently my 33 cents wasn't rich enough for her blood ;)
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013   Writer
:D
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:icontwistedalyx:
TwistedAlyx Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You've got 3 heavy-hitting words in one tiny poem--I confess I had to look up all 3 of them. Now I want to use them all in something too. they're good ones. But maybe one of them is stealing the show somehow? Line two is thick with S's. Maybe change out lissome for another word? But that's just me. I do love the last line though. <3
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