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I was shy at first, timid in my dealings,
I laced the trap against my throat,
sang sparing, tip-toed
around your poems.

The tone, the slow vibrating
from the shoots of my shoulders
to the gleam of polished talons,
it purred around inside me.

Oh the song, Coyote,
the same resigned call, it
paled before you, swallowed down its insides,
wept.

I took your little hand in my big hand,
flew out towards Crow, and for a while
My Love, there were poems
and the world was enough.

I took to howling with you,
down from the branches, safe
womb of the tree, I spread
dirt between my toes, sang happy,

sang the song of free,
your wild howl, your musk,
I lost the language for
the pain of bird calling.

Do you remember when we realized
Crow would no longer sing
her crooning songs beside us, trill
through a night among us?

She had gone, no longer writing
poems for coyotes or exlovers,
no longer touching out for a girl
beyond the mountain,

and we were suddenly alone, Love,
you and I, alone to sing, to warble, to fall,
but, nevermore, you said, nevermore,
things matter not

when I love you
, the howl-
I sang with you the howl of leaving,
never leaving, loving, always loving
the bitter sweet notes,

I'll never quiet for you.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-18
:iconamanda-graham:
Critique I Took To Howling With You

by vespera

Disclaimer: I am not a trained professional writer. I am not a reader or critic educated in literary or poetic forms. I have read many of vespera’s works since coming to light on dA and have always been both touched and thrilled with each appearance.

This work, the mid-piece of vespera’s “Howling Triad” is a tightly woven movement of air upon my lips. Spoken aloud from written score my breath pauses perfectly with no struggle introduced by staggered questioned placement of word, phrase, or break of quatrain’d thought; as with all of vespera’s works there is an elegance in her application of physicality in unique setting to touch cautiously the reader’s emotions and imagination. Each precise component builds upon its predecessor to accomplish, under her control, her experience with form, function, and desired response a perfect work.

There is that Ginsberg echo to this triad, that explosive element constrained by necessity; but where Ginsberg’s “Howl” was deeper in tonality and political, and his urgency to express prior to explosion, and then again in recovery after, while this urgency in his work was always apparent, with vespera’s conceptions there is a gentle smoothness begun in stark visualizations and then rising to her work’s clutch in completion; in this work most particularly. Vespera’s voice is personal, at times a calmness that is unnatural to what is being addressed, but I find that an escarpment concealing and then once traversed exposing the heart beneath.

Thank you for your triptych vespera, as always it is both deeply moving, inspiring, and constructively instructional.

Amanda © 2012 10.19.2012
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
19 out of 19 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconrestlesssands:
RestlessSands Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013
ive borrowed your title for a found title poem: [link]

;) :heart:
Reply
:icondelliversagain:
delliversagain Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013   General Artist
Simple and pretty, like a good bottle of beer really needed.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D You are behind, my man! ;)

Thanks Tones
Reply
:icononyxiusart:
OnyxiusART Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
AHHHH love it. That last line hit me like someone threw a whale at my face. AWESOME.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: why thank you!
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
feat here/ici : [link] :rose:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
"I lost the language for
the pain of bird calling."

This is so lovely! A (belated) congrats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: thank you hun
Reply
:iconfallendawn1414:
fallendawn1414 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
truly grateful.
Reply
:iconsakanemiku:
SakaneMiku Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh wow.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconpiscesandthediamonds:
Piscesandthediamonds Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh, dear girl! This really blew my mind. One of your best... excrutiatingly lovely :heart: I felt like I could really relate to a lot of these lines. But what was most inspiring was: "She had gone, no longer writing
poems for coyotes or exlovers" - I can't wait to feel that way :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconakuaseawolf:
AkuaSeaWolf Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
so beautiful <3
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) ty!
Reply
:icongogocherryrose:
gogocherryrose Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
yay! grats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:boogie: :heart:
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012   Writer
Hey, congratulations on the DD! Very deserving. :)
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D Thanks!
Reply
:iconthetaoofchaos:
thetaoofchaos Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   Writer
You're welcome. :heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ooooh...yeah, killer DD pick! :D
This is one of my favorites, fer sure. :la:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
intriguing rhythm - really picks up near the end.
an interesting piece.

congrats on the DD :)
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:rose: thank you!
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome!
Reply
:iconerco71:
erco71 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
lovely..will fave this and part 2..:)
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:love:
Reply
:iconerco71:
erco71 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i faved them all..Part 1-3..:)
and was my pleasure..:)
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
congratulations on the DD ;)
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:w00t: thank you!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on a truly deserved DD, lovely lady! :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D thank you!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012   General Artist
A pleasure, always! :la:
Reply
:iconpullingcandy:
pullingcandy Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This is gorgeous.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:rose: Thanks Kay
Reply
:iconpullingcandy:
pullingcandy Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconharmoniamurasaki:
HarmoniaMurasaki Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing. Your work is amazing. I can hear the howling practically.

Great job. Really great job. :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: thank you!
Reply
:iconharmoniamurasaki:
HarmoniaMurasaki Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. Nice shoes thar.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D oldies but goodies!
Reply
:iconharmoniamurasaki:
HarmoniaMurasaki Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconfacebooklikeplz:
Reply
:iconcrossing-ariel:
crossing-ariel Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
CONGRATS ON THE DD!

You so deserve it. I love you! :heart:
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart: :blush:
Reply
:iconcrossing-ariel:
crossing-ariel Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
:glomp:
Reply
:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012   Writer
Congrats on the DD!!! :heart: I was so pleased to glance down and see your lit tag!
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconxxamaya-foxxx:
XxAmaya-FoxxX Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing...♥ Such a good piece of literature ♥ You deserve the DD award for this ♥
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
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Submitted on
August 6, 2012
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